AAC- a place for everyone

The recent American Adoption Conference was not the first organized forum on adoption that I have attended. The very first was a Healing Weekend led by Joll Soll of Adoption Crossroads.

Joe's Healing Weekends are incredibly intense, and interpersonal, experiences. I remember trying to anticipate what the experince would be like, and one of my biggest fears going in to it- the potential for rage. To be specific, I was terrified that I would feel rage toward the birthmothers who attended. I was puzzled that the Weekend was structured for both adoptees and birthmothers together. I lived with such "full-time rage" anyway, and I imagined that the concept of "birthmother" could be one of the sources.

I arrived for the Weekend and discovered, in all of 10 minutes or less, that I had no feeling of anger, whatsoever, toward the birthmoms there. Even more suprisingly (if I could have been more suprised), I was comforted by their presence.

I think of this because, like Joe's workshop, the AAC Conference included both adoptees and birthmothers. I inquired with AAC President Eileen McQuade about the history of the conference and the organization, and she filled me in that, upon its inception in 1981, AAC was designed for all triad members.

Adoptees and birthmothers working through their experiences together seems like a natural fit to me now. A no-brainer. Moms and children aren't at odds with each other, they're at odds with their experiences. They're on two sides of a glass and can look to each other for understanding, reassurance, and support.

I'm wondering whether others who attended the conference have thoughts on this dynamic.