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A conversation with a counsellor friend of mine yesterday has my inner-wheels turning. She was remarking that in recent interactions on adoption with 5 young (~17-22) adoptees, she observed a markedly different "comfort level" than that she has seen in those of my generation (40's).
The chats my friend was having with the adoptees weren't counselling sessions, so their scope was narrow. But the little corridor she was able to experience could be compared like this; as a teen, if asked about my sensibility on being an adoptee, I may have (and did) said something like "I'm glad she gave me up!" The vibe that went with the proclamation was anger, denial, and protectiveness of my adoptive parents and my membership in their family. Today, when these young adoptees were asked about their "adoptedness," they exuded calm as they expressed- "It's what she needed to do. I'm ok with it."
My counsellor friend's speculation is that that the difference is related to the absence of stigma in adoption today. We're both left wondering what this generation's experience will be 10, 20 years from now, if or when they become "searchers," and what reunion experience might be like for them. "Reality" takes such shifts from one generation to the next. I'm left wondering to what extent I, or my generation, can be helpful to the next in their quests for their truths.
