Mirrors, Mirrors, on the Wall

In his book, "Coming to our Senses: Body and Spirit in the Hidden History of the West," Morris Berman devotes an entire chapter to the mirror, exploring how its invention and proliferation affected human perceptions of Self. Berman's concepts gave me an idea for an experiment. (I was in art school and working on a series of self portraits at the time, which might have influenced my idea...)

I wondered what it would be like to live a week without a mirror. My first thoughts surrounded vanity- would I go out into the world each morning with Sideshow Bob hair, or with snot coming out of my nose? I could live with wacky hair, I decided, and you don't need a mirror to know your nose is dripping... The experiment proceeded.

I covered the bathroom mirror- the only mirror in the house- with brown paper. I knew that out of habit I'd look to the mirror first thing, each time I went in to the room. I wondered how I'd react, not being able to verify my appearance or confirm my own presence. Would it be too stressful to live out the week without a mirror?

Curiously, I had only one response upon looking to that mirror, and it was purely visceral. Each time I looked to the mirror and saw brown paper, I felt my stomach drop like a deep drum. I snapped completely to my center, looking for myself there.

I wondered whether this experience could be likened to narcissism-effect ascribed to adoptees. Birthmother, as a mirror, is absent, so the adoptee looks inward.

Actually, the experiment could have "meant" all sorts of things. But it was a great experience for me. When I looked inside myself, I found my Center and there I saw myself. I came away totally content.